Not My Monkey: A Boss’s Guide to Keeping the Right Tasks on Your Back
Managers love to say yes.
“Yes, I’ll take a look.”
“Yes, I’ll sort that.”
“Yes, I’ll follow up.”
But yes comes with a cost. A study by iDoneThis found the average manager juggles 150 tasks on their to-do list. Around 42 percent of those will never get done. In New Zealand, we’ve got a well-known productivity problem. And maybe just maybe it’s because we keep doing it all ourselves. We take on everyone else’s tasks. We jump in when something needs doing. Not because we think we’re the smartest or the best. But because we feel responsible. We want to be helpful. We’re wired for service. And let’s be honest. That habit of stepping in? It’s often what made us successful in the first place. It’s how we got noticed. It’s how we ended up in management.
But at some point, it stops helping. It clogs up your day. It limits your team. It burns you out.
What if we don’t need to be the one to do it all?
What if it isn’t even a problem?
What if we’re getting buried by monkeys that don’t belong to us?
What Is the Monkey?
The term comes from a classic 1999 article in the Harvard Business Review. The monkey is a metaphor for the next move on a task or problem. Whoever has the next move owns the monkey.
So when someone says, “Hey, I’ve got a situation,” and you reply, “Leave it with me,” the monkey quietly lands on your back. The task is now yours.
The Monkey Test: Four Questions
This isn’t about being mean or unhelpful. It’s about being smart with what you take on. Not every monkey is yours. Not every monkey needs you. Before you take on that next request, stop, and ask these four questions.
What is the problem that needs to be solved?
Not the backstory. Not the people involved. Just the actual problem.
And sometimes? You’ll find there’s no real problem at all.
What have you done about the problem so far?
If the answer is “nothing,” the monkey stays with them.
Encourage them to go think it through. Talk to others. Explore it from their side first.
What do you think the next steps are to solve the problem?
Let them do the thinking. You’re not a smorgasbord of ready-made solutions.
What support do you need?
This one’s critical. Don’t ask “How can I help?” That opens the door for the monkey to move in. Instead, ask what support they need to take the next step. You’re in their corner, but the work stays with them.
It’s not about being hands-off. It’s about growing people who can think, act, and carry their own work forward.
Monkey Management in Practice
Download the full HBR article PDF and queue it up for your next plane flight or lunch break.
Watch this explainer video if you prefer the visual version.
Print this coaching questions poster and stick it somewhere visible.
Let your team know you’ll be using these questions from now on. Better yet, encourage them to show up ready to answer them.
And when in doubt, say it quietly to yourself “Not my monkey. Not my circus.”
This isn’t about saying no to everything. It is about saying yes to the right things. Helping people think for themselves. And stopping the slow slide into everyone else’s inbox.
Not every monkey should be homeless, but most don’t need to live with you. And some don’t need a home at all.