Tools for Giving and Receiving Feedback

- QUICK COURSE -

My aim is for conversations and simple tools that create clarity. This quick course is designed as pre work inputs for either an individual conversation or workshop .

What it covers

Objectives One of the most challenging conversations you can have is giving and receiving feedback well, and that can be heard by both people. How do we give recognition and feedback that works? By the end of this course you will

Increased awareness of our own filters when interacting with others
Understand how you like to receive acknowledgment
Appreciate the steps required to have challenging feedback conversations
A framework to practice giving and receiving feedback

Duration 45-minutes

Feedback can be hard to give (both good and bad), a bit uncomfortable, but when delivered well is highly invaluable. Effective feedback has benefits for the giver, the receiver and the places where we work. There are a many reasons why feedback is an important communication skill

Is there all the time
Is another word for effective listening
Is an opportunity to motivate
Essential to develop performance
A way to keep learning

There are a number of actions we can take to improve how we give and receive feedback. These include

Increasing awareness of our own filters
Giving individualised recognition to others
Treating feedback as a conversation not a dictation
Practice, practice, practice

Increase Awareness of Our Own Filters

We see the world through the lens of our own thoughts, feelings and behaviours. These become expectations and we can struggle when someone behaves in a way that does not align with our own values. These can also act as blind spots.

Giving feedback is a vulnerable conversation. Being aware of our filters can be helpful before working with someone else to increase our credibility and understanding.

Good questions to ask are and reflect on are

Self Awareness What effect does this have?
Self Expression What message do you want to communicate? Do you need to help people to understand you? Do you need to ask for help?
Partnership Who might you seek out to help you?
Self-Regulation Which strengths could you leverage to help you manage this?
Support Systems Are there any tools or resources that might support you with this?

Understanding Your Strengths

“A well managed talent becomes a strength, but a mismanaged talent becomes a detriment.”

One tool that can aid understanding is knowing your strength theme’s balconies and basements. Strengths are simply dominant characteristics. Therefore you can use them effectively (a balcony) so they become your competitive advantage, or you can mismanage them so they become disadvantages (a basement).

Print the following guide and for your Top 5 strengths highlight any statements that resonate with you, cross out what doesn’t matter and circle any meaningful words.

Have you not completed a strengths profile yet? Find out how to discover your strengths.

Review The Strengths Balcony and Basement Guide

Did you find any of the descriptions accurate? Use this knowledge to become more aware of when you are mismanaging your talents and shift your behaviour whenever you notice it.

Give Recognition to Others

“Strengths develop best in relationship.”

To maintain a strong working relationship the ideal ratio of positive to constructive feedback is 5:1. It is not about the size of celebration we bring to our work, but the psyche. We give recognition in the way we hope to receive it. However, the best recognition is one that is tailored to each individual.

Gary Chapman discussed this in his books The 5 Love Languages and The 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace. The styles of recognition he identified are

Words of Affirmation using words to communicate a positive message to another person
Quality Time giving someone your undivided attention
Acts of Service providing assistance to one’s colleagues
Tangible Gifts giving a gift to someone who appreciates and values that specific gift
Appropriate Physical Touch affirming someone through a physical gesture (pat on the back, high five, fist bump, handshake)

For more about each these languages see the short video below.

What is most important is to appreciate people in the way that they want to be appreciated. Not in the way that you might want or in the way that is most comfortable for you.

To discover your preferred language of appreciation. complete a love languages profile, because the way we like to receive recognition at home is also the way we like appreciation at work.

Discover Your Love Language/Language of Appreciation

Courageous Conversations. Constructive Feedback as a Conversation

We avoid difficult conversations. This can be a missed opportunity to help team members improve faster, help people find the right role fit, have more productive meetings. Feedback is not a one way monologue but a conversation to seek to understand and co-create action. For more on this listen to the following Podcast below.

Practice Giving Feedback

This exercise is about improving our own skill set in giving and receiving feedback. Some people are more comfortable than others, and that’s OK. This exercise is about your own baseline and getting more comfortable with the “uncomfortable.” Complete the steps as follows

Print the feedback form clicking on the button link below
Complete a form for every person in your team and get them to do the same OR that you have been allocated to in an upcoming live workshop
Take no more than 1-minute to answer each question, so go with your gut instinct
If you can and know the person’s strengths, there is space to acknowledge which strength theme you see of theirs in action. If this proves too hard, could you do this in person?
The idea is to run through the form with each person “speed dating” style. One person will get a turn and then reverse the conversation
Be prepared to leave the sheet with the person you are giving feedback to for their future reference
If you don’t get a chance to talk to everyone during the process, plan to do a follow up session at a later date

Team Feedback Exercise Form

Develop your feedback skills further

Our strengths develop best in relationship. Find out how to enhance your skills in giving and receiving recognition and feedback through in person practice.

Not registered for a workshop or individual coach? Have a follow up quick chat with Jase to explore.

Schedule a Time