Boss to Coach Conversation 2 of 5
Tools for Giving and Receiving Feedback


HOW TO USE THIS MODULE

This module can be used in two ways.

  • If you are preparing for a workshop or coaching session
    Work through the exercises below and bring your thinking with you.

  • If you are doing the online starter series
    Work through the exercises below, then apply one part of it with your team this week.

This module is about how you give recognition, handle difficult conversations, and build feedback into everyday work.

Limited for time?
If you only do one thing, focus on giving recognition to others and complete a Language of Workplace Appreciation profile.

Objectives

At the end of this module you will be able to:

  • Give recognition in a way that works for the individual

  • Increase awareness of your own filters when giving feedback

  • Use a simple structure for constructive feedback conversations

Duration 30-minutes

Step One Benefits of Feedback

Feedback can be hard to give (both good and bad), a bit uncomfortable, but when delivered well is highly invaluable. Effective feedback has benefits for the giver, the receiver, and the places where we work. There are many reasons why feedback is an important communication skill

  • Happens all the time

  • Is part of effective listening

  • Helps motivate

  • Develops performance

  • Supports learning

There are a number of actions we can take to improve how we give and receive feedback. These include

  • Increasing awareness of our own filters

  • Giving individualised recognition to others

  • Treating feedback as a conversation not a directive

  • Practice, practice, practice

Step Two Increase Awareness of Our Own Filters

We see the world through the lens of our own thoughts, feelings, and behaviours. These become expectations and we can struggle when someone behaves in a way that does not align with our own values. These can also act as blind spots.

Giving feedback is a vulnerable conversation. Being aware of our filters can be helpful before working with someone else to increase our credibility and understanding.

Good questions to ask and reflect on are

  • Self Awareness What effect does this have?

  • Self Expression What message do you want to communicate? Do you need to help people to understand you? Do you need to ask for help?

  • Self-Regulation Which strengths could you leverage to help you manage this?

  • Partnership Who might you seek out to help you?

  • Support Systems Are there any tools or resources that might support you with this?

Step Three Understanding Your Strengths

“A well managed talent becomes a strength, but a mismanaged talent becomes a detriment.”

One tool that can aid understanding is knowing where your strength themes can help or hinder. Strengths are simply dominant characteristics. Therefore you can use them effectively (to help) so they become your competitive advantage, or you can mismanage them so they become disadvantages (to hinder).

  1. Print the following guide and for your Top 5 strengths

  2. Highlight any statements that resonate with you, cross out what doesn’t matter and circle any meaningful words.

Have you not completed a strengths profile yet? Find out how to discover your strengths.

Review The Strengths Help and Hinder Guide

Download

Did you find any of the descriptions accurate? Use this knowledge to become more aware of when you are mismanaging your talents and shift your behaviour whenever you notice it.

Your Output

By the end of this module, you will have prepared:

  • Your completed Helps vs Hinders for your CliftonStrengths

  • Your completed Language of Workplace Appreciation profile

Step Four Give Recognition to Others

“Strengths develop best in relationship.”

To maintain a strong working relationship the ideal ratio of positive to constructive feedback is 5:1. It is not about the size of celebration, but how it is received.

Watch A video by Simon Sinek on the power of catching people doing things right.

We tend to give recognition in the way we hope to receive it. However, the best recognition is one that is tailored to each individual. Gary Chapman discussed this in his books The 5 Love Languages and The 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace. The styles of recognition he identified are

  1. Words of Affirmation using words to communicate a positive message to another person

  2. Quality Time giving someone your undivided attention

  3. Acts of Service providing assistance to one’s colleagues

  4. Tangible Gifts giving a gift to someone who appreciates and values that specific gift

  5. Appropriate Physical Touch affirming someone through a physical gesture (pat on the back, high five, fist bump, handshake)

Optional Watch For more about each these languages see the short video below.

What is most important is to appreciate people in the way that they want to be appreciated.  Not in the way that you might want or in the way that is most comfortable for you.  

  1. To discover your preferred language of appreciation download and complete the questionnaire

  2. If you have time, the reflection questions.

When you click on link below this will automatically download an Excel zip file to your downloads folder on your computer.

Download

Step Five Courageous Conversations. Constructive Feedback as a Conversation

We avoid difficult conversations. This can be a missed opportunity to help team members improve faster, help people find the right role fit, have more productive meetings. Feedback is not a one way monologue but a conversation to seek to understand and co-create action.

Watch A video by Simon Sinek on a structure to effectively communicate constructive feedback to someone.

Step Six Practice Giving Feedback

This exercise is about improving our own skill set in giving and receiving feedback. Some people are more comfortable than others, and that is OK. This exercise is about your own baseline and getting more comfortable with the “uncomfortable.” Complete the steps as follows

  1. Print the feedback form clicking on the button link below

  2. Complete a form for every person in your team and get them to do the same. If you are scheduled for a workshop or 1-1 conversation, we will get a chance to do this impromptu on the day, so no prep is required. Use this chance to familiarise yourself with the questions.

  3. Take no more than 1-minute to answer each question. Go with your gut instinct

  4. If you can and know the person’s strengths, there is space to acknowledge which CliftonStrengths theme you see of theirs in action. If this proves too difficult, could you do this together in person?

  5. The idea is to run through the form with each person “speed dating” style. One person will get a turn and then reverse the conversation

  6. If you complete these sheets beforehand, be prepared to leave the sheet with the person you are giving feedback to for their future reference

  7. If you don’t get a chance to talk to everyone during the process, plan to do a follow up session at a later date

Download the Team Feedback Exercise Form

Download

Put this into practice

This week, give one piece of recognition and one piece of constructive feedback. Keep it simple:

  • Be specific about what you observed

  • Link it to impact

  • Ask for their view

Notice how the conversation lands and what you would adjust next time.

Next: Check In

Further reading