When Your Team Stalls: The Boss Question to Ask
In coaching, there’s a line I hear often. “It doesn’t matter how hard I try. I can’t get them to do that thing.” It sounds like frustration, because it is. The person cares. They’ve tried. But they’re stuck.
That’s when I ask: What’s the block? Can’t they? Or won’t they? Or maybe a bit of both?
That question unlocks something. It helps you see what’s really going on and why they might not have even tried.
Ken Blanchard puts it simply in Leadership and the One Minute Manager. He breaks the block into two big buckets: Commitment and Competence. And once you know which one you’re dealing with, your role as a leader gets clearer.
WON’T is a commitment block
If they won’t, you’ll hear the question “Why?” That’s your sign it’s a motivation or meaning issue. It often sounds like: “I don’t see the point.” “That’s not my job.” “No one else is doing it.” Here, they won’t unless something shifts. They need support. They need to understand the “why.”
There’s a well-known story from NASA in the 1960s. When President Kennedy visited the space centre, he asked a janitor what he was doing. The janitor replied, “I’m helping put a man on the moon.”
That’s what a clear purpose can do. It connects effort to meaning. It turns a task into a mission. Your job as a leader is to help people find that connection. That looks like:
Listening to them
Recognising and appreciating their efforts
Facilitating their problem solving
Asking them for input
Providing rationale (remind them why you’re doing it)
Sharing information about their experiences and relevant to the goal
Sharing information about the organisation relevant to the goal
This isn’t hand-holding. It’s head-and-heart leadership.
CAN’T is a competence block
If they can’t, you’ll often hear the question “How?” That’s your clue it’s a skill or confidence issue. It often sounds like: “I’ve never done this before.” “I don’t know how.” “What if I get it wrong?”
In this case, they can’t yet. They need direction. Your role is to lift their confidence by building their competence. That looks like:
Setting a clear goal
Generating an action plan
Showing them how to do the goal or skill
Clarifying roles
Providing timelines
Establishing priorities
Monitoring and evaluating their work and giving feedback
Even that same janitor, on his first day, wouldn’t have walked in saying “I’m helping put a man on the moon.” He would have needed help with the basics. Where to go. What to clean. How to do it well. Someone gave him the how before he ever understood the why.
So the next time you feel stuck, with someone or even with yourself, ask: Is this a can’t or a won’t? It gives you a much better place to start. And it might be the nudge that gets things moving again.