When I’m Not Feeling Myself. This Is How I Get Strong Again

Sometimes I feel flat. Not because I’ve crashed. But because I’ve given out and forgotten to top up. It’s not loud. It’s not urgent. Just a quiet dullness that makes everything feel a little off.

A few years ago, I wrote about recharging by reconnecting to what brought you joy at ten. That still holds. But lately, I’ve needed something more specific. Less theory. More this actually works for me when I’m feeling flat. So here it is.

Martha Beck once wrote, “Don’t do something. Be or create something.” And the neuroscience backs her up. Sometimes the best way forward is not through. It’s sideways. Not action. But attention. So I’m slowly learning not to push through. Not to grit my teeth and wait it out. Instead, I’ve started paying attention. To what helps. To what brings me back.

My Reset List: How I Get Strong Again

• A nostalgic movie. Star Wars. Back to the Future. Raiders of the Lost Ark. The kind of stories that still make the world feel big. Watching old 80s TV commercials on YouTube. Even those light something up in me. That’s how deep the nostalgia runs. That’s where the joy often lives.

• Listening to 80s music. Time travel, no machine required.

• A lime milkshake. My dad used to take me for these. A ritual with roots.

• Chocolate peanuts. Crunchy. Familiar. Right.

• A Carl’s Jr burger. No analysis needed. It just hits.

• A soothing cup of tea. Quiet in a cup.

• Exercise, especially lifting weights. It grounds me and reminds me that I am, and can be, strong.

• Talking to people who know me best. You know who you are. Thank you for being the kind of people I can talk to when I’m a little off.

• A massage. Because a caring touch isn’t optional. It’s essential.

• Cleaning my car. It brings a sense of order to the outside world when the inside feels messy.

• Building Lego. Clicking pieces into place helps things click into place inside me too.
  

If you know my CliftonStrengths, you’ll spot them here:

• DISCIPLINE brings structure and order. Not as control. As comfort.

• RESPONSIBILITY isn’t about holding it all. It’s about holding myself accountable for rest and care.

• CONNECTEDNESS reminds me this is part of the cycle. That it will pass, and “To do well is be well. And to be well is to do well.”

• ACHIEVER wants movement. But I’m learning it doesn’t always need to be forward.

• INPUT treasures the things I’ve collected. Memories. Rituals. Reminders of who I’ve always been

I’m still learning the lesson I wrote about all those years ago. To stop, reconnect, and recharge on purpose. This is what that looks like now. You don’t need this list. But maybe you need your list. Because on the days when you don’t feel like yourself. It helps to have a map.