Be the Boss of Change
We don’t struggle with change. We struggle with how people experience it.
Most change plans make sense on paper. Clear strategy. Clear milestones. Clear intent.
Then it hits the team. And everything slows down. Not because people are resistant. Because the experience of change is poor.
Team leaders feel it first
They sit between the plan and the work. Pressure from the top to deliver. Questions from the team they can’t fully answer. They become the shock absorbers. And if all they do is absorb it, change stalls.
The shift is this:
Don’t absorb the change.
Shape how it lands.
What people need during change
This isn’t new. It comes from the work of Edward Deci and Richard Ryan through Self-Determination Theory. Three things drive motivation:
Autonomy
Belonging
Competence
In the room, it sounds simpler:
What matters
We’re in this together
We’re making progress
That’s the job of a team leader in change.
1. What matters - Clarity creates action
Most change fails here. Too many priorities. Too many moving parts. Everything feels important. So nothing moves.
What to do:
Leverage the Rule of 3. What are the three things that matter right now?
Use Can’t or Won’t to diagnose the block
If it’s can’t: They don’t know how. They lack skill or clarity. Your move is to teach, simplify, remove friction.
If it’s won’t: They don’t see the point. They’re not bought in. Your move is to connect it back to purpose, outcomes, and consequences.
Same behaviour. Different cause.
Different cause. Different response.
Clarity gives people something they can act on. Not everything. The next thing.
Say this. Not that.
Not: “How’s everything going?”
Say: “What are the three things that matter this week?”
2. We’re in this together - Connection keeps people steady
Change gets processed in silence more than we think. People fill gaps with their own story.
Usually the worst one.
What to do:
Create space to talk about what’s actually going on
Say it simply: I’m OK. You’re OK. It’s going to be OK
You’re not solving everything in that moment.
You’re removing isolation.
People can handle uncertainty.
They struggle when they feel alone in it.
Say this. Not that.
Not: “Any questions?”
Say: “What are you most unsure about right now?”
3. We’re making progress - Progress builds belief
When effort isn’t visible, confidence drops. People feel like they’re spinning.
What to do:
Call out specific wins
Get people to say what they’re achieving
Make progress visible. Not at the end. During the work. Progress builds belief that the change is working.
Say this. Not that.
Not: “Any updates?”
Say: “What’s moved forward this week?”
The test
You should be able to see this in a team meeting:
What matters is clear
People are talking openly
Progress is visible
If you can’t, your change won’t land.
Change doesn’t fail in the plan. It fails in the moments team leaders manage every day. Be the boss of those moments.